S'been a while...

This is an email I wrote to an Atheist who manages a blog I stumbled across. I hope I did okay.


So, I am a Christian, and right now, I am going to say that you are obviously much smarter, and probably older and have more knowledge of things than I do. So I will also say that I am not going to try and convince you outright that your beliefs are wrong and mine are right. But I am going to say, that if you are a reasonable person, you will at least give me a chance to defend myself (as you have clearly called me ignorant as well as other things), and read what I have to say, and take my thoughts into consideration as you continue to judge "the religious."

Now, I have only read up until and a little bit into the section of your main blog entry titled "Nature of Belief", so I might cover things that you have already explained later on, but I assure you that I intend to read that entire entry another time, as it is getting late where I live and it would take me all night to read that entry, and email you in response.

OK, to get things rolling, I will tell you about me to prove that I am completely serious, and I will not hide behind the mask of "anonymous". I am only 18, as I have already said, and I am a pretty smart guy who has gone through good and bad times like everyone else. I have not always believed what I believe and since I can confidently say that I am a smart guy, I have not blindly believed anything that I currently hold as my faith, because other people believe it, or it seems right, or any other ignorant reason, but I have actually spent much of my life considering all of the things that matter to me, and all of the things that the world deals with and considers important, and though many times I have had doubts and tried to believe otherwise, I can currently stand very firm in my faith in Jesus Christ, and nothing will change that.



First of all, I would like to defend the fact that although most, or at least some religions, are quite tolerant of each other, in the way that they accept that others don't believe what they do, but can support the others' beliefs as well, even though they don't agree.
I would like to immediately separate Christianity from all other religions, by explaining that if you are a true Christian, you will not tolerate other beliefs by simply believing that, "Since we are right, you can't be." Although there are obviously extreme cases in the middle east and other areas, where yes, they do not accept other religions but there own either, I am confident that of all of the widely accepted North American religions, Christianity is the only one that does not simply "tolerate" all other beliefs. Just as you believe Evolution is correct, you must therefore believe that no other beginning of Man is correct, right? So, since I am a Christian, and believe that my way is right, and all others are wrong, I will not try to defend "Religion", but I will defend Christ.

Now, so that you don't confuse the "types" of Christianity with mine, I will separate the right from the wrong, within the North American church.
In my understanding of Christ and the Bible, the simplest and most accurate unarguable definition of a Christian, is someone who recognizes that they are a sinner, and will not be otherwise in this lifetime, and that a man called Jesus, was born of God and Man, and therefore was both at the same time, lived a sinless life, while still facing all types of temptation, and then was beaten and killed for crimes he was found guilty of, but was innocent of in fact. This man was then buried, and was resurrected from the dead three days later, fulfilling prophecies of the Old Testament, and allowing all people to have a personal relationship with God, through Jesus Himself, that was otherwise impossible. A Christian accepts that the Christ died for our sins, and is the only way we can have a relationship with the one and only God. A Christian also believes that because we are sinners, we need to continually ask for mercy and forgiveness for our sins, without any rituals or sacrifices (because Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice). So all we need to do is ask and He will forgive us of our sins.
Now, I am not as good a writer as you, so the odd long sentence or mistake might be in that paragraph, but if you put all of those things together, that is what my faith is, and what I think a Christian is. Notice that none of it has to do with Homosexuality, Abortions, or Evolution.

So, seeing all the things I wrote up there, you can easily say that too much of it has to do with faith and not enough (if not none) of it had to do with fact. You can easily say that there is no way to expect anyone to understand the world around them, through that kind of faith. You referred to large scale natural disasters in your blog a few times so far, like Katrina and the Tsunami, stating that since God did not stop these events, he is either incapable, or does not care. By saying this, I am forced to come to the conclusion that every death that is not deserved or controllable in this world, such as car accidents, unpreventable diseases, or freak events, would fall under the same category as Katrina and the Tsunami, only to a lesser scale, correct? What does it matter if 100 000 or 1 person dies, because if God is all powerful, he could prevent both cases. Right? If this line of reasoning was true, it would mean that the only reasonable scenario for Christian faith to be plausible, would be if nobody ever died, except due to old age or human hatred. God would have to prevent every death that could not have been controlled by humans, for Christianity to even begin to be plausible, right?
My honest reason, that I believe and try to live by, for the fact that innocent people do die, and that horrible things do happen in this world, that God does not stop, my reason is that I DO NOT UNDERSTAND GOD. I do not understand what his plan is, and why he lets horrible things happen. But by using the things that I do understand to form my beliefs, I do not instantly jump to the conclusion that since someone died in the last three seconds and didn't deserve it, there is no God.

When you talk about fundamentalists being better than Moderates, who avoid answering questions like "why does God let good people die," I would like to say that Moderates are much less ignorant than fundamentalists. The fact that I do not know why thousands died in New Orleans that did not deserve to, is not only not something that makes my belief less plausible, but it actually makes my beliefs more reasonable, for this reason.

If I could understand the world, and everything that my God does, or allows to happen, then, I would not need Him at all, and He would not be God. If I had an answer for every argument you throw at me, no matter what, and I could explain everything I believed right down to solid fact, then I would in fact have to be God, and would be in control of the universe around me and everywhere else.

When you say, "what was God doing when Katrina laid waste to New Orleans?" If I said, "Because New Orleans was a Sin City and deserved to be destroyed!" That would mean I knew why God allowed it to happen or caused the hurricane. However, by answering with, "I honestly don't know why." It proves that I do not have the answers to important question, and have to put my FAITH in my beliefs and my God. Faith of course being the foundation of all religion and the most important part of mine. The fact that I don't know everything, and don't understand everything, means that I have to have Faith in the fact that what I do know and what I do understand, tells me that there is a God and He is in control, and knows what to do and is much better at doing things than I am.

Now, the first thing that comes to my mind in your argument is that "I could do a much better job than He does by not letting these horrible things happen, and having everyone innocent live, and everyone evil die” or something along those lines at least.

So, by taking away chance and decision in the world, what do you think we would be left with? Whatever it is, it does not involve free will. If God took that rapist murderer and smote him down to save that little innocent girl, then that means God would take out anyone who tried to do evil, which means anyone evil would be dead, and there would only be good in this world. However, since we are all sinners, or more accurately, we have all sinned at least once, even though it is much much more than that, we would all be dead, except little babies.

Anyways, that argument is just a good reason that I think defends why horrible things happen to good people. It could be completely wrong, and I can admit that, because again, I do not understand my God, and if I did, I would be God.

So, I guess I'm done for now, except for one thing I forgot. Taking into account that I have stated my beliefs and think all other beliefs are therefore incorrect, I would just like to clarify that neither good deeds, intentions, nor beliefs result in "getting into" heaven. Heaven is not a wonderful place created to reward people, and hell is not a horrible place created to punish people.

Heaven is wonderful BECAUSE the entire realm is completely 100% engulfed in Gods presence, because there is no sin present, and we are rewarded because of our faith in Jesus, by being invited into God's pure presence. Oppositely, Hell is horrible BECAUSE the entire realm is completely 100% removed from God's pure presence. God has no part of himself connected to Hell (while at the same time He is in control of it, which is another thing I can admit I do not understand and therefore have to accept that I don't understand it and hold onto the FAITH that I don't have to understand it). Satan is not in control of Hell, but instead is banished to Hell by God. He is allowed to have influence in the world until the end of time when God permanently banishes him into the lake of fire. Why God allows Satan to influence the world is another thing I do not understand, but I believe that Sin and Satan are not the same, but connected, and without one the other would not exist, and without both, there would be no free will, and there would be no God.
So forget about the whole "reward and punishment" aspect, because what it comes down to is faith in Jesus. Without it, you simply go do Hell, even if you are a pretty decent guy and live a pretty decent life. If you rape and murder a hundred women, but end your life with recognition of your sins and that without Christ you are nothing, and if you believe it with all of your being, you will be forgiven and accepted into God's presence. One could say that by that logic, you could rape and kill and steal all you wanted, and just ask for forgiveness in the end and make it to Heaven. But the key flaw in that statement is that to be saved you must genuinely want Christ’s forgiveness and to serve and obey him, which means that you can't fake it, you have to actually believe in him and follow his commands to the best of your ability.


So, that's that, and now I just have some closing remarks.


I can respect, not tolerate, your beliefs or lack there of, only if you actually seek out both sides of the issue in depth. The fact that I am interested in your blog and will continue to read what you have to say shows that I do not just have my beliefs and that's that. But instead I actually look and research what others believe and compare and contrast their beliefs with mine. I am looking for someone to prove me wrong with iron clad proof, just as you are, which will never happen for either of us. Because I can't prove that evolution is a joke beyond a shadow of a doubt, and you can't prove that God is a joke beyond a shadow of a doubt. My point is that only in researching both sides of the argument can one have concrete beliefs. Staying in the shallow end of the pool results in mediocre faith and no arguments when challenged by others, other than, "No I'm right!" So, if you have not seriously read the Bible, meaning you read it with an unbiased view, and then make conclusions afterwards, I suggest you do so, or else you have no right to condemn my beliefs in any sense, because you do not know what they are to any amount of accuracy.

I would also urge you to consider something very obvious that I doubt you ever consider. By using the process of elimination, you need to choose the most sensible position in the following scenarios:

If you are right, there is no God in any sense, and we will die without purpose very soon in relation to the length of time the Earth has been here. If that is correct, then existence will simply cease, and there will be no pain or happiness, only nothing after death.

BUT

If I am right, then there is a God, and Jesus is the only way to get to Heaven, and every other life results in an eternity of pain and suffering beyond human comprehension. If that is correct, than the decisions made in this lifetime are critical, because they affect the rest of my existence for all eternity. You talk about comparing 80 years to 100 000 000 years, but think about comparing 80 years to infinity.

So if those are the only two scenarios, or at least accepting that all other scenarios could fall into those two categories, then which one is the safe bet? If you are right, then my faith has been a waste of my life, and I will simply die and cease to exist along with everyone else. Therefore, I will end up no different from you. But if I'm right, then I will go to Heaven, and live in peace and joy and and the most wonderful place for all eternity, and you will go to Hell for all eternity, with a new body that does not die, but simply endures pain and suffering for all of eternity.

For me, I am covered either way, but you are in a win/lose scenario, where the win is not even something to look forward to. If nothing else, having faith in an afterlife of any kind is worth a second thought if it means your eternal existence, right? If you use logic, you will admit that it is worth thinking about and diving deeper into, but if you just deny it, you betray yourself.

And in defending myself one more time, I have just given you a reason to believe in God, that I do not use as my reason for my Faith. If I simply had my faith for fear of going to hell, than you could tear me apart with words and accusations and make my faith into a joke. But the fact is my faith has little to do with hell, and any true Christian would say the same thing.



So, since I can't convince you to believe whatever I say, because I think you are smarter, older, and know more than I do about many things, I will just say that I hope you at least use that intelligence and experience to realize that this should be the most important issue in your life, and you should be very serious about these things. Because your eternity will either depend on it, or it won't. You'd just better be pretty sure of yourself is all I'm saying.


A Follower of Christ Jesus, our Lord and Savior (no matter what we believe),

Barry Gitzel


PS. If nothing else, I wish you would have a little more respect for my faith, instead of stereotypically picking Jesus as the "God" to pick on and poke fun Christianity. Hop off the bandwagon and joke about Buddah or Muhammad or someone else for a change. It's easy to follow the crowd, but maybe don't use His name as a curse as I'm sure you often do.

Remember to remember me...

...Standing still, in your past... So the beggar that I walked by many entries ago, was there again a few days ago. I again walked by him without acknowledging his existence, and actually heard him start, "spare change..." and trail off once he saw me hurry into the glass doors. Same exact spot as the last time I ignored him, and the same spot that I gave him some money months ago.

However, knowing that I had well enough money in the account this time around, and also not having to spend any of it that day, I pulled some of the funds that I withdrew, and put said funds in my pocket, with the intent to give it to this man. Of course, once I was done all of this, I stood beside the machine, confusing people and making them think I was in line again, because my heart was racing and I knew I had to talk to the man, but I didn't want to. I didn't want to give him the money, because I knew that even though it seemed like I had lots, I probably couldn't afford it, and I could have spent it on myself or saved it. I also didn't want to give him anything, because I was sure that I would see him there the next day anyway, asking for more. But after standing there for a minute or two, I just cleared my mind, and walked out, and sat next to him on the sidewalk, without a clue as to what I was going to say to him.

Basically, I asked him how it was going and about his situation, to which he responded with continuous talk of names I had never heard before (I am not a local), and all of the certificates in mechanics that he has accumulated, and he even waved and said hi to quite a few people who cheerfully waved back as they walked, drove, or rode by. I also worked up enough courage to ask him about Church, and if he had thought about seeking one out for financial and especially spiritual aid. Much to my surprise he said he attended faithfully every Sunday, to a Church just down the street and around a corner. I have yet to see this Church for myself, but I plan to seek it out myself one of these Sundays to see how it goes.

All in all, I sat for about fifteen minutes with the man, whose name I forgot to ask, and therefore still do not know. I learned that he has just found an apartment (which amused me as his sign said "homeless" on it, obviously not updated yet), which his welfare cheques can not afford to pay rent for, and that he could very well be getting a job at a mechanics shop in town very soon. After I had squeezed enough words in, I told him that I believed what he was telling me, and that I wanted to help him. So I gave him the money, and wished him luck, and pressured him to keep fighting for whatever he could get.

I didn't bring up Jesus, or any of those truly important topics that I wish I had, but I don't have as much experience with strangers as I'd like. They told us to stay away from them when I was a kid. On a positive note, I'm almost certain I will see him again, and hopefully I will be brave enough to keep him accountable in his life and what he told me. Maybe instead of his source of income, I could be his friend eventually. Who knows?

...Floating fast, like a hummingbird.

Segue...

I have a cold now. It's official. I wake up, and I can hardly move, I go to bed, and I can't breathe through my nose. I am the kind of person who does not get sick often. I can't even remember the last time I had a runny nose that lasted more than a few minutes. I guess that's not something most people would remember, but, you get the point. Last time I threw up was almost two years ago, and before that it was another couple years, and I think that before that it was like four or five years. Some would say that's amazing, while I say, I don't really know if anyone would say that's amazing. That reminds me of something.

When I was like, I guess six or seven (all those years are run together in my mind), my mother whom I love took me to Calgary for some reason, and while we were there, we went to this fair with rides and things. I'm pretty sure it wasn't the Stampede, but it was pretty cool and big. Anyways, while we were there, she let me go off on my own and ride the rides myself and stuff (maybe I was older, or maybe it was cause back in the nifty-nineties, it was safe to leave your kids unsupervised (just kidding. I don't really think that)). So, here I am, trying out rides and things by myself, or maybe she was always just a few feet away from me where I didn't notice, so that I think I was alone when I really wasn't. Anyways, while I am riding rides and seeing sites, I meet this kid. A boy, pretty much the same age as me, and we totally hit it off for some reason. We started riding rides together and talking about stuff that was cool and where we had gone already and what we should do next. We were basically inseperable, if that is spelled correctly, which I don't think it is. So, by the way, the reason I'm reminded of this memory is because one of the attractions was a giant maze that people had to walk through, and we did it successfully (successfully meaning we cheated and went under the walls (you could go under them in case you got lost and started panicking)). At the end of the maze, which was right by the entrance, a man gave you a fridge magnet that said, "A-Maze-ing!" which is amusing for obvious reasons. If you go back up this entry, you will notice that I said amazing right before I started this story, so, talk about a segue!

Anyways, I have remembered that experience ever now and then throughout my life, and each time I wonder how that boy is doing, since I don't remember his name, and probably never knew his last name. I wonder if he is a Christian, and if he is living a decent life, and even if he ever remembers me in the same way as I remember him, a stranger I had fun with one day and then never saw again. It's cool to think about, and it gives me hope in my new friendships. At least at one point in my life, I was capable of making really good friends in less than a day! So now that I am taking more time than that to make friends, they should be just as successful, right? Anyways, I'm gonna have to pray for him tonight, and I have to get up super early tomorrow, and this cold is not going to make that easy.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Pedals and petals...

Well, today was a pretty good day. I got to sleep in, watched some Stargate SG-1, and then I took my (pedal) bike into town to get it fixed before the summer, which could cost up to 450 dollars, I surprisingly found out. Four hundred fifty, American! No just kidding. It would only be worthless Canadian dollars. Here in Canada, we use Canadian currency as toilet paper, it's just so worthless in comparison to our southern, more important neighbours.

Best part of the day, I would have to say, would be when I picked up a hitchhiker on the way into town. That's right. I'll tell you all about it!

So I'm just leaving where I live, to go to another town nearby, and there's this hitchhiker (dressed all in black and leather and stuff, on a day that must have been 23 Celsius), going my way. I passed him of course, mouthing the words "I'm sorry" to him, but really only to myself cause he couldn't have seen it. Anyways, I pass him, and instantly I thought, "wait a minute, what a perfect opportunity! If he's friendly, I'll get to do a good deed, and if he wants to steal my car from me, I'll have a chance to get some V for Vengeance!" So I hesitantly pull into the next road, pull a U-ee (?) and start going back towards him. I then pull over on my side of the road, honk my horn, and point backwards (as I am now facing the wrong way) and signal him to come over. Of course he was somewhat confused, probably not because he recognized me as someone who just passed him, but probably because I was going the wrong way. So he finally figured it out, and we were on our way!

At first it was all, "thanks" and "that was the fastest I ever got picked up," but then we got into talking about the whole hitch hiking thing, as I was fairly new to it at the time, while now I am a seasoned pro at picking them up! Whenever I was thinking about hitchhikers in my long experience-full life, I had two types pictured in my mind. One was the person who is basically expecting anyone with an open seat to pick them up, and gets all upset when they don't, and is totally depending on getting picked up, or else they will get fired from their job or something. The other type of person, like the one I got to pick up, has left their home well ahead of time to be prepared to walk the entire way and still make it in time for their job or appointment, and don't look all sad or mad when their thumb is sticking out and no one stops for them. So like I said, he was the good one, but he did kind of look like a Matrix fanatic with all of his leather and black happening. Obviously a cool guy that was way to high above me for me to appreciate his radiating coolness.

I took him as far as he wanted (I was prepared to pull up to a door for him, but he had a specific spot that was convenient for both of us), and he thanked me, and I welcomed him to ask again.

The moral of the story is, that this time, I saw my opportunity, and no matter how stupid I felt for turning around for a hitch hiker, or how many risks or dangers were involved, I saw a chance to help someone who needed it, and that's how I treated it. A chance to help someone, not a risk at all. The best part was at the end when he got out of the car, and a single petal from a tree (those weird trees with flowers on them) fell through my open window and onto my shoulder. It was just so cool and in-the-moment, like God was giving me a gift for what I had done, just a little moment of reflection and a beautiful flower petal.

I don't know if I've said it already in one of these giant writings of mine, but I'm starting to find out that God really answers prayers. Like, I have been praying for Him to open my eyes to the opportunities He brings me, and I was also praying a lot for something else kind of personal, which He quickly answered exactly as I had hoped. So, now I know that He will answer my other prayers too, right when He needs to.

Punch Drunk Love...

Punch Drunk Love is officially my favorite movie from now on, or at least until a better film takes its place. I have seen it four or five times now, and every time I watch it, something else makes me smile and feel great! Tonight it was on TV, and I noticed many different great moments. First of all, I guess, if you've never seen it, you ought to, and none of this will mean anything to you until you do. When he's in Hawaii at the pay phone, and finally gets a hold of Lena, the pay phone lights up as soon as she says, "hello?" (It really lights up because he has been on the phone so long that it is getting to be dark out and the streetlights, as well as pay phone lights I guess, are beginning to light up). I also loved the amount of anticipation and wonder that is portrayed in Emily Watson's (Lena's) eyes throughout the entire film, like she is so infatuated by this weirdo right from the start, that her eyes are just lit up and glimmering, not to mention always staring at Adam Sandler (Barry Egan). And of course, there is the part that I have loved ever since the first time I saw the movie, where Barry just...there is no word good enough to describe how badly (and quickly (and necessarily)) he beats up these four scam artist lackeys. Thinking of it right now makes me excited for some reason. It's just what every viewer is cheering for at that very moment, and the film delivers what the audience wants I guess. At least I wanted him to smash those jerks with the tire iron. Maybe you guys didn't...

Anyways, I actually could not stand Adam Sandler before Punch Drunk Love came out, with the exception of the following: Saturday night live (especially with Chris Farley), The Wedding Singer, 50 First Dates (kind of), and of course Spanglish, which I don't love, but I love Adam Sandler in it. Now that he is getting older and playing serious roles in movies, I am sure he will give me a lot more to enjoy over the years.

Vengeance is the Lord's, but sometimes I just want it so badly. If I was Barry Egan and a bunch of guys just sent my car flying on purpose and hurt someone I cared about, I would most likely try my best to render them unconscious. Then there are the people in my life who have been hurt in the past either physically or emotionally. I don't like to believe it, but there are some people out there who I have never met in any way, except by what they have done to people I know, that I think if I ever met, I would be struggling to keep my fists from flying and my tongue from slipping up all over the place. I think it must be some kind of guy gene or something. We all want to get revenge on someone for something. Physically. I personally have never gotten the chance. I've never been in a fight that you could call, "a fight," and I've never been beaten up or anything like that, so I don't even know how well I could do in the vengeance department if I tried.

In the end, I try to think about what's really important, though. Like, right now, there are three people in my mind, who if I had them all standing in front of me, full of themselves and feeling guilt free about their lives up to this point, I know I would want to take a crow bar to their faces, or knee caps, or private parts, but I honestly believe that I wouldn't. I would look at them (this is all theoretical and individually) right in the eyes, and just think, "What is cracking his skull open going to accomplish? He deserves it, but not from me." I would like to think that I could sit down with them, and tell them exactly how much of my life they have influenced negatively, even though not directly, and how much I hated them for it. But then, if they honestly knew what they had done, and were aware of the huge wrongs they had done me, I would want to (This is all "if God would give me the strength to...") tell them that I forgive them for it all, and that the past is past, and my future is secure, while their's is not. Then, if God was really with me like I know he can be, I would love to continue to persuade them into searching for God in their lives, cause that's what they really need, and have needed all along. Of course I will almost 100 percent surely never see any of them again, or, if I hadn't before, I will never see them at all. So it's all up to them and the people who are in their lives right now, to show God's love to them. All I can do is pray. Which is actually quite the powerful thing to do.

It's almost enough to wonder if maybe God brings pain and suffering into a Christ follower's life, through other people, just for the purpose of having the Christian's affected, pray for the unsaved person's salvation. Maybe my human life is worse thanks to these people, so that I can live my worsened life, praying for those same people, so that they may find Christ as well. When I think about it that way, vengeance is the most ridiculous idea yet. I don't deserve salvation any more than these people, so instead of wanting to hurt them, I should do everything I can to help them figure out what's important. If by making my life on earth unpleasant and full of painful memories, I can help someone find Jesus and be saved, then I want the most unpleasant and painful life possible.

It's funny how if I type my thoughts out, they follow a better train of thought then when I just let them wander in my mind. As a human in this world, affected by sin's ever-present shadow over me, I hate certain people, hate being a very strong word, and it's horrible for me to have to say it, but in my weakness, I hate them for what they have done. But as someone whose faith is in God and His never changing Grace, I also love these same people for who they are to God. They are still just His children who haven't figured it out yet, and are still running around looking for God in hollow, empty, and of course worldly places. God knows what's in their hearts, and what needs to change in their lives. All I know is the very little that I have experienced because of them, but at the same time I know that God knows exactly what to do in their lives. So I'll go to bed tonight, and pray for each one specifically, for God to reveal Himself to them in whatever way He needs to, for them to "repent and be saved!"

A plea for sanity (in the end)...

So tonight was gym night, and I played floor hockey, and some basketball, and also some pass w/a football. Let me just say, that I did not know I still had that kind of energy. It was like an hour and a half of non-stop activity. I feel somewhat proud, and also somewhat thankful. The latter is probably the better feeling to have. I can already tell that tomorrow at work, I will be sore beyond all comprehension.

Continuing with the friends issue, some progress was made tonight. People have stuck with it in trying to get to know me better, and I am doing the same. So maybe there is some hope in these new friends I have made. Only time will tell.

Some nights, (like the ones that I didn't write anything) I don't feel like writing anything. Mostly because of how small the number of people who are reading this blog seems to be. I guess I have to give it time, and maybe put more exciting things on here. Or maybe if I type with abbreviations 4 evrthng, N-sted of da hole wrd. Everyone likes that right? Wrong. Or maybe if I stop capitalizing my sentences and proper nouns. then people like brad pitt and angelina jolie will read my blog in africa or los angeles. HOW ABOUT WRITING WITH EVERYTHING CAPITA...ok I'm done.

I guess I need to ask for more comments if I want to receive more. So, send me more comments, those of you who are readers. The ones I have received so far are nice, but aren't giving me too many helpful ideas. The other guy in a recent picture is currently married and happily so. Just in case someone was wondering about that. In fact, let us pretend that everyone you see in these photos other than me, are married to someone, so that there is no confusion or distraction from the topics at hand. I merely put photos on because they remind me of better times, and sometimes they are relevant to the topic. And sometimes they make me look stupid, which I am completely aware of. Like the picture I am going to use for this entry. Two words can describe it accurately. Gross, and sweaty. I don't always look like that, I promise.

Trying to move on is quite difficult tonight for some reason. Hey, if someone has read every one of these entries, let me know, ok? That would be something cool to encourage me.

Today I went to the dentist, and then an hour and a half later, the optometrist. No cavities. In-between the two appointments, I could not eat anything (as it was lunch time and my teeth were freshly cleansed), and I did not have enough money to do anything else. So I sat in my car listening to some tunes, trying to figure out if I should wait it out in the lobby of the eye center, or in my car. I decided to drive to the optometrist's while I was deciding. While sitting there and watching the people around me, the thought of traveling around looking for people to help with random acts of kindness tunneled its way into my mind. This thought still seems silly to me though. I had about a half hour of time to kill before I wanted to check in at the front desk of the eyeglass dealership, and I had very very little money to spare, and no idea where to go or what to look for. Now, you are all probably hoping that this story ends with an exciting twist of events showing how something great came out of this whole situation. But I'm afraid it is not to be. I went in early, sat down, and watched a television screen scroll through facts about Glaucoma, Floaters (many of which I am in possession of)(ha-ha, sounds funny but it's not), and Dry Eye.

I honestly feel that, today, if an opportunity for me to help someone in any way was clearly presented to me on my travels, I would have done so. But the fact is, I saw an old man riding a cheap bicycle, and that's it. I figure the only way I could have helped him was to buy him a new bike or give him mine. But since I did not at all have enough funds available for such a purchase, or my very own bicycle with me (not to mention the fact that I would rather not part with it), I could not help him in any way that I could tell.

One of these days I will just have to set a whole 24 hours, or maybe, morning until night, aside for a meandering through downtown British Columbia, to see what chances God gives me to improve my character, and of course, help someone or someones. I personally believe that every day should be like that for everyone, just instead of having that as your focus, to help people, it should just happen naturally, because of your focus on God, and that with Him guiding you, His love will spill out of you to other people naturally. Right? Can I get two or one Amens? Thank you!

By the way, if you don't believe in God (which in itself is a very vague, general, and ridiculously over used variation of a good question), you should definitely think about figuring it out for yourself instead of just accepting what the world says about it. I mean, it's worth a shot, isn't it? If you don't believe in anything, then you believe that you will die and nothing will happen after that. But if you believe what I believe to be true, then you believe that you either die and go to the most unimaginably, and excruciatingly horrible place in existence, or you die and go to the most unimaginably, and unbelievably beautiful place in existence.

If you can at least admit that one of those two beliefs must be right, "heaven or hell" or "nothing at all", which I think most people when they take the time to think, would admit to, you have to also admit that the safe bet would be believing in the heaven or hell scenario, because if it's all a lie, then you have nothing to worry about, cause you're just going to die and that's it. But if Christianity ends up being the for real deal, then you'll be ready for the end when it comes.

All I really want is people to think about life and death, cause I've been noticing far too much that the biggest problem with our North American society right now, is just not thinking about anything important. Ever.